Rant alert: This is an uncensored reaction to today’s news…

I have had enough.

I swear if I hear one more wimpy, self-absorbed apology from one more immature, oversexed, morally corrupt politician claiming to want the public’s prayers for his long-suffering and humiliated wife, I think I’ll hurl into the next county.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford today admitted that his five-day disappearance to recover from a busy and challenging legislative session was, in fact, just a five-day tryst in Argentina with a woman he met online.

How original.

If you’ve ever taken an air horn to a commencement so that your favorite graduate would know you were proudly applauding his or her achievements, you probably should stop reading this post and just move on. It’s not likely you’re going to appreciate my point of view.

At long last, it seems ardent feminists have united around the issue of misogynistic humor, even when it’s directed at conservative women.

The past few weeks have brought a wave of vile and indefensible attacks against women who happen to espouse conservative political opinions. From a crude and disgusting Playboy web posting about "hot" conservative women to David Letterman’s lame attempt at humor at the expense of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her daughters, attractive and outspoken women on the right seem to be fair game for crude and exploitative jokes.

On May 20, our dear friend Fr. Joe Krupp was honored by the Catholic community of Lansing, Michigan. He took the opportunity to articulate what it means to be Catholic. Treat yourself and read this lyrical and profound message...

"To God be the Glory for the things he has done.

We are Catholic.

Teens and text messaging are back in the news this week. A new study says teenagers send an average of 80 text messages a day, and the researcher who did the study, pediatrician Dr. Martin Joffe of Greenbrae, California, is worried about the effects of this growing habit. He sees kids with anxiety, distraction, falling grades, repetitive stress injuries and sleep deprivation. He found that teens are texting for hours after their parents believe they have gone to bed, and that unlimited texting plans mean parents aren’t taking note of the excessive texting habits their kids have developed.

I share Dr. Joffe’s concerns but I have a few others, too.

I'm thrilled to announce that my new book -- especially for tweens! -- will be available this summer. Watch for it!

I feel so badly for Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean. Clearly, she should have watched my daughter Amy’s favorite chick flick, “Miss Congeniality,” before entering the Miss USA competition. That way she could have studied the scene where Sandra Bullock, playing the role of FBI Agent Gracie Lou Freebush, completes the interview portion of the pageant and remembers that the only right answer in a pageant interview is “World peace.”

Last week’s news included a story out of Hamilton, OH, about a third grade boy who was expelled from his private Lutheran school after a “hit list” of teachers and fellow students was found in his desk. School officials believe no one was ever actually in danger, and they mention that the boy is known to be “troubled” and previously has been in counseling. The principal says they cannot be too careful in this day and age, while stressing that the school community is praying for the boy.

I believe the school did the right thing by expelling the boy, because sadly the principal is right – we really don’t have any way to know if a child will act on his violent thoughts and feelings.

On Saturday, my dear, devoted husband Jim and I celebrated 22 years of marriage. We toasted another year together by sneaking out for brunch. (A romantic dinner was out because we had committed to take our two high schoolers to Toledo to run in their first half-marathon on Sunday. To kill time on Saturday evening, we went with friends to a Toledo Mud Hens game. Who says my guy isn't a hopeless romantic?)

Here's hopeless for you, if not romantic: A couple in Britain married in full "Shrek" attire. See the photo. That's not a costume party -- that's their wedding picture. Apparently the bride thinks her new hubby looks like the ogre in the Disney cartoon and felt a full Shrek theme wedding would be lovely. Guests also donned costumes, though the news report says the bride's teenage son didn't follow suit. (Gee... I wonder why?)

If you look up the word senseless in the dictionary, you’ll find a long list of names of the people who have been killed by drunk drivers.

Add two names to that list today – Sylvia Washington and her son Major Washington of Lansing, MI. They died last evening at the hands of an alleged hit-and-run drunk driver who thankfully was apprehended and jailed.

Major was a student at my children’s high school, and while I didn’t know Sylvia or her son personally, I mourn their deaths and I feel the heartbreak shared by our whole community.

If you’re like me, you’ve picked up a magazine in the waiting room of the pediatrician’s office, flipped to an article that looked interesting to you, and learned from some expert or another that you’re screwing up, big time.

My biggest moment of self-doubt came when I learned that watching Sesame Street may contribute to attention problems. Long after my toddlers had grown into squirmy children, someone did the research and found that the barrage of images meant to teach language skills and values about sharing may have contributed to thinking patterns that switch too quickly from one idea to another. Thus, the American Academy of Pediatrics warned that TV is not for anyone under the age of two.

But wait! How does a woman ever take a shower on a weekday if she can’t turn on a TV for a toddler?

Next Sunday, March 29, I'm thrilled to be speaking at the Phases of Womanhood Spring Tea at the Crowne Plaza/Tysons Corner, VA. (Get info and tickets at PHASES OF WOMANHOOD). If you're able to join me, you'll get some insight into "God's Eternal Grocery List: Ingredients for a balanced life."

I decided to write a talk that every woman can relate to, and let's face it, who can't relate to grocery shopping. I actually did some analysis of this task and realized that over the course of my adult life -- tracking only from the time I was 25 and living on my own, until a projected groceryshopping lifespan of 80 -- I will have made 6,673.33333 trips to the market. If you figure that during each of those trips, I roam down an average of 10 aisles, that's 66,730 grocery aisles in my adult life. Seems like an eternity!

I always hope my Washington Times column will garner some attention, but not necessarily the kind I got today! The current column on the new White House Council on Women and Girls has been quoted and posted on several blogs, along with choice words about my intellect (or lack thereof) by people who variously think I am a typical manbasher and a woman-hater, all at once.

I suppose if I had more than 600 words for a column, I’d have been able to make myself more clear, but I don’t suppose I’d have received a different sort of response. I guess the reality is that mine is just an unpopular opinion, at least in certain circles.

OK, seriously, I am NOT a prude. I'm not. But I'm starting to realize that every story I read out of the UK obsesses over sex -- youth sex, in fact! I guess the sordid tales of sexual escapades on the part of their politicians and royals just aren't enough to occupy those folks. Now, it's all about the kids.

Gosh, at least they're fretting over their children.

What has me so incredulous this time? A mom trying to find a sex partner for her son who has Down's Syndrome, one of several Down’s sons she has adopted.

My brother sent me an email a couple of weeks ago with a link to a news story about a teenager in a nearby county who is being prosecuted in juvenile court for sending nude photos of herself to her boyfriend over her cell phone. When they broke up, the boy then forward the pics to his buddies. The newspaper doesn’t say if this was retaliation for being dumped or justification for doing the dumping. Either way, the boy is a creep.

But the story doesn’t say if the boy is in trouble; only that the girl is being held accountable for distribution of illegal child pornography. In case you aren’t aware, using a cell phone to distribute nude photos of minors is against the law, even if you’re the one in the photo.

The practice of sending dirty pics is known as “sexting.”

This is a recent review on Amazon for "Bringing Up Geeks" and I'm now considering making thousands of copies of it and using it to wallpaper my bathroom. I don't even know this person, but now I am hoping she wins Publisher's Clearinghouse or something. So lovely I just had to share it with you...

Bringing Up Geeks
5.0 out of 5 stars
I can't shout Amen loud enough!
March 5, 2009
  
"I picked this book up randomly at the book store - I was drawn by the title because my friends and I talk all the time about what geeks our little kids are (in a good wholesome way) and how we hope they stay that way. So I'm about half-way through the book,

I like columnist Kathleen Parker, whose wit and insights often have me nodding my head as I sip my morning coffee. It's hard to do this without spilling, believe me.

Parker can be pretty sensible, but a recent column contained one short, power-packed sentence that I believe is responsible for much of what's wrong in our nation, both in the political realm and in the parenting struggles facing so many families. Here's what she said

There's not much I'm going to be able to say about this story, or more correctly, there's just not much you can say. In case you missed it, here's a news item that I found a few weeks ago:

“Never again.” That was Betsy’s verdict Saturday morning after hosting a surprise birthday party the night before. Unfortunately, my high school senior learned a lesson that stings many a hostess – manners aren’t what they ought to be.

Betsy had big plans for a surprise party for two friends who share a birthday. She created invitations which she distributed with precise timing so as not to jeopardize the surprise. She also issued invitations on Facebook. Several kids told her they planned to come and would see her on Saturday, though a fair number of kids never replied, even with the point and click convenience of a Facebook response.

When I asked Betsy how many teens we could expect at our home, she couldn’t give me a clear answer but instead had to guess based on snippets of conversations at school and a few text messages she received.

Betsy spent all day Saturday getting ready for the party.

Following the pathetic story about the 13-year-old daddy in Great Britain? It's so twisted it's surreal. Now we learn the real villians may be the parents of the teen mother, who apparently urged their daughter to claim the father was the 13-year-old neighbor because this would generate publicity and cash. Click here to read the latest from the Daily Mail.

Has anyone noticed there's a baby involved here? Sickening. Absolutely sickening.

Among today's press releases in my email was one calling my attention to a company whose specialty is knowing and manipulating the tween market. The publicist for AK Tweens probably hasn't read many of my columns or blog posts, and she definitely didn't read chapter three of my book, or else she'd have known that any publicity her client would get from me probably is not going to be good.

Much of what I talk and write about has to do with sheltering our kids from the harmful influences of media. There's a boatload of research to confirm that violent media (TV, movies, videogames) promotes aggressive behaviors and bad attitudes in kids, and that the sexually saturated messages in media influence premature sexuality. Surveys of parents confirm that we believe media causes some of the disrespectful and rude behaviors we see in children, and that moms and dads feel powerless to control the influence of media, especially TV.

Short of pulling the plug and throwing the television into the nearest river, it seems there's not much we can do...

Wednesday found me sharing the geek lifestyle with a wonderful group of parents in Pacific Palisades, CA. Hosted by Calvary Christian School, the event included folks from five nearby schools who enthusiastically listened as I offered my alternative to the culture of cool.

After my talk, we opened the floor for questions and comments. I appreciate that parents are willing to ask questions that help us find specific strategies to deal with the situations we all face while parenting in this culture.

The most interesting question on Wednesday? How do we make tough decisions that are different from other families without making our kids mad at us or even causing them to hate us later in life?

I've had at least four invitations to "friend" someone on Facebook. The problem is, I don't belong to Facebook (much to the chagrin of my new business manager).

As I see it, the first group I would have to join on Facebook is "Moms whose kids won't friend them on Facebook." At least, my daughters have recommended that I'd find kindred spirits there.

I realize that Facebook and all social media are a. not inherently evil, despite my suspicions to the contrary; b. useful to some extent; and c. here to stay.

Remember when the Beatles supposedly hid a creepy message on the “Abbey Road” album, which when played backward revealed the disturbing news that “Paul is dead?”

Well, Paul wasn’t dead. In fact, he’ll probably live to be 107 and still play in a rock band.

Now comes everyone’s favorite celebrity mom/pop star Britney Spears, whose latest album “Circus” includes a new single that makes the supposed Beatles stunt seem trite. Her song “If U Seek Amy” clearly sounds as though the singer is spelling out the “f-bomb” followed by the word “me.”

OK, I give up. For the past Lord-knows-how-many-months, I've been following the campaigns, the transition, and now the new administration in an effort to be as informed and participative a citizen as I can be. I'm reading all the day's news, visiting blogs and web sites I never bothered with before -- and not just those I tend to agree with, but those that offer a broad range of opinions and analysis.

Here is why I'm confused...

I confess that on occasion, I've been sucked into extended sessions of watching videos on YouTube. The first time was about a year ago when someone sent me the video of the group Straight No Chaser singing an a capella parody of the "Twelve Days of Christmas." Next thing I knew, I was pointing and clicking on all sorts of videos of college a capella choirs -- I felt like I had cracked open an obscure but fascinating subculture and it sucked me in like a straw in a milkshake.

Unless you live in a cave, you know that YouTube is one of the most popular web sites for tweens and teens. (Among teens, it's tied with Facebook for second, behind the still dominant MySpace; among tweens it’s the favorite site). It turns out that the time spent watching videos on YouTube is almost certain to expose our kids to some nasty stuff, including "some of the most offensive profanity in the English language." This according to the Parents Television Council, which last week released its first-ever analysis of online content available through YouTube.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, many teens mistakenly believe intentionally abusing medications to get high is somehow safer than using illegal drugs. They say an alarming number of teens are abusing over-the-counter and prescription drugs, and that we parents need to include this issue in our ongoing conversations with our kids about drugs and alcohol.

This is a serious issue, folks. If your medicine cabinet holds left-over drugs such as pain meds from a past incident -- say an injury or accident -- you may not even notice that over time, the pills in that bottle have been taken. Even if you have no reason to suspect that your teen would use those drugs, get rid of them. There's no point in keeping potentially dangerous drugs on hand when you no longer need them.

There are upsides to being a newspaper columnist, but the barrage of unwanted emails and press releases isn't one of them. Makes for a time-consuming journey through the "in" box each day.

On the other hand, sometimes I get press releases that help me stay informed about issues and trends in our culture. For example, this week I got an email from the American Humanists Association (I assume because I previously wrote a column and blog post about them -- see the post below on their anti-Christmas ad campaign in Washington DC).

This time, the humanists are taking a stand against the Boy Scouts. I have to say this strikes me as particularly bold. Who criticizes the Boy Scouts, for heaven sake?

Ultimately, the battle over Bratz was about money, but those of us who loathe the hideous line of hypersexual dolls can take heart nonetheless. Barbie has won out, and while it's not exactly a moral victory, at least there's hope that the toy aisles will be a bit more wholesome -- for a while, anyway. That's because a judge ruled yesterday that the maker of the Bratz line must immediately stop production of the dolls, and after the Christmas shopping season must clear retailer's shelves of the product line.

It's enough to make you want to walk into a Toys R Us just to celebrate.

My 11-year-old daughter let me know that tomorrow is "Black Friday," the day the nation's retailers typically report a profit for the year. I'm not sure if she told me this to impress me with her knowledge of economics or if she was trying to figure out whether I'd be helping her favorite stores get out of the red. (No, in case you're wondering, too.)

This week, the American Humanist Association launched an advertising campaign in Washington, DC playing on the Christmas song, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." The ad, placed exclusively on the sides of DC buses, says, "why believe in a god...just be good for goodness sake."

If you missed the news story, see it here.

This ad, and the organization behind it, reflect bold new efforts on the part of athiests to impose their agenda on American culture. By usurping a traditional Christmas song and image (cool dude in Santa suit), the AHA isn't just promoting their humanist ideas; they're taking a swipe at Christians.

My friend, author Tim Bete, was on the front end of the pirate craze for kids when he released his current book, "Guide To Pirate Parenting," a hilarious handbook on how to turn your poop deck into a home for promising young pirates. But even Tim must be unimpressed with this year's Halloween costume craze -- sexy pirate attire for little girls.

If you're like me, there are web sites you've allowed for your kids, but only while holding your nose. We've never permitted the overtly inappropriate environments such as Bratz or even Barbie's "My Scene" because their hypersexual themes and mature situations are just wrong for young girls. (Does a 10 year old really need to be fantasizing about meeting friends at the Tiki Bar? I think not...)

On Tuesday, I was a guest on “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet” in New York, participating in a discussion of cell phone use in children.  (See this week’s column on the specifics of the segment – we talked about  some new research that connects cell phone use in kids to an increased risk of brain cancer).  I’ve spoken out often enough on kids and cell phones that I seem to have developed a reputation as the “anti cell phone mom.” This is a little bit hilarious since we have maxed out our family plan with five cell phones.

How is I’m paying for this many phones and yet I’m becoming known as a mom who doesn’t allow them? Very simply, we don’t provide a cell phone to our middle schooler.

You’d think this wrinkle in our family policy was akin to spearheading a book burning rally. Oh the humanity! No cell phone for a 10 year old? Quick, get that crazy woman on a plane to New York to explain herself!

As the mom of three girls, I confess I sometimes treated my infant daughters like baby dolls. Cute as they were, I made the most of their babyhood by dressing them in lots of pink and yellow clothes, putting bows and ribbons on even the thinnest whisps of baby hair, and even adorning their tiny feet in soft crib shoes made to look like patent leather "Mary Janes."

I wouldn't put black on my babies unless it was a black velvet Christmas dress trimmed in scotch plaid. I never dressed them in miniature versions of grown-up clothes because I wanted them to look as sweet and innocent and unspoiled as they were. My motto became "Innocence is the new black," and when I look back at pictures of my girls as babies, I'm filled with a sense of joy because they were just so stinking cute (even when they were just stinking!).

Last week in my weekly (cough, cough) email to subscribers, I shared the web address of my new favorite political blogger, my daughter Betsy. She's a high school senior who won't be able to vote in the upcoming presidential election, but who nonetheless has lots of strong and well-considered opinions about what's going on. Jim and I suggested to her that she start a blog to share her point of view, and after only a few posts, I decided to share her blog with my readers.

My dear friend Lisa Hendey, founder of the terrific web site Catholicmom.com and a prolific blogger and podcaster, clicked through to Betsy's blog and was impressed. So Lisa blogged about Betsy's blog. Like me, Lisa is proud to be the parent of a socially aware and concerned teenager. We moms know that the future of our nation rests on the interest and commitment of the next generation.

I'm not going to pretend I don't love Gov. Sarah Palin. My only question is, "Who couldn't?" Even if you don't agree with her politics, you have to look at this woman -- just as we all look at Sen. Obama -- and realize the torch of leadership of our country is being passed to a new generation of dynamic, articulate and exciting people.

So with that full disclosure aside, here's a tidbit about her groundbreaking speach at the RNC last night: She did about half of it from memory. See this link:

Sarah Palin "winged" her speech because of "broken" teleprompter

By all accounts, Michelle and Barack Obama are geek parents! At least, that’s the way I read the news stories describing their priorities for their daughters. Sen. Obama has said he and his wife try to shelter their girls from too much cultural influence, and that they seek to protect their daughters’ innocence. They spend time reading together, playing games and building family traditions. Dad brings home snow globes when traveling (OK, so there’s now a staffer in charge of picking them up at the airport gift shop, but still)… and mom apparently limits her schedule as much as possible to attend to the needs of her children.

Several years ago, Michigan’s Democratic candidate for governor, Jennifer Granholm, announced her candidacy for my state’s highest office. At the time, she and I were the same age and had similar families – young families. I knew how much effort and energy it took to keep things going at my house and I wondered if her children would suffer if their mother pursued the governor’s office. Years later, it’s clear Gov. Granholm and her husband are raising a healthy, happy family. Certainly they’ve all made sacrifices during those years – as every family must do for various reasons – but having a family didn’t preclude Gov. Granholm from public service.

Similarly, the fact that Gov. Sarah Palin plays many roles in life – wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and leader– means she is living to her full human potential.

How should we react to the news that Gov. Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter is five months pregnant? How about with the same kind of compassion, empathy and goodwill that ought to characterize our response anytime a teenager faces a life-changing and challenging situation.

Parents across America who haven’t faced the heartbreak of sitting down to learn their teen is pregnant should remind themselves, “there but for the grace of God go I,” because statistics say most of us could easily find ourselves helping a teenager through this difficult circumstance. Those who have been through it already know it’s deeply personal and complicated – and not a situation that suggests placing blame or pointing fingers about parenting. If anything, we can all blame a culture that tells teenagers an active sex life is normal and appropriate and that abstinence is an unrealistic ideal.

But it turns out that many folks assume – at least in WSJ blog comments – that I’m advocating a parenting strategy that turns out social misfits. Ack! Nothing could be further from the truth!

Nor am I promoting the idea that parents should mold and control the personalities of their children. For some reason, saying that I think parents ought to monitor and limit the influence of media in the lives of their kids equates to some people the notion that I’m out to produce Stepford children who robotically respond to every parental command.

If you met any one of my four children, you’d know that my husband and I aren’t raising social misfits or adolescent automatons. They’re all lively, unique and outspoken. Moreover, the fact that we guide them in decision-making when they’re young has resulted in teens who make terrific decisions for themselves.

So why the misconceptions?

Blogged by Kathleen Hicks

How strange, to sit on a couch while watching the world speed past at a steady 65 miles per hour.

Strange, too, to drive a seemingly flat road and yet pass a sign that reads “Grant Village, elevation 7770 ft,” realizing that this flatness is over a mile above the sea.

Stranger still to wake up in the flatlands of Iowa and hours later fall asleep in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains. And yet, this is just what we have done.

On this trip, I have spent days in some of America’s biggest cities (Chicago, Denver) and passed through desolate stretches of desert and prairie. In hours, my family has traveled from the lovely resort town of Jackson Hole, Wyoming to the relatively remote wilderness of Yellowstone Park, devoid of cell phone service and wireless internet (I say relatively because, despite the overall remoteness, Yellowstone still contains gas stations and convenience stores, handy for when we run out of essentials like milk, bread, and beer -- for Dad, of course).

This morning, I stood in my kitchen, mindlessly eating my yogurt and drinking coffee, when this headline caught my eye:

Teens sending nude photos via cellphones

The subhead describes the problem further: "Pictures meant for boyfriend or girlfriend are ending up on the internet."

Here are a couple of key items in the story:

"School administrators in Santa Fe, Texas, confiscated dozens of cell phones from students in May after nude photos of two junior high girls began circulating. The girls had sent the photos to their boyfriends, who forwarded them to others, officials said."

"Psychologists said the phenomenon reflects typical teenage hormones and lack of judgment, with technology multiplying the potential for mischief. It also may reflect a teenage penchant for exhibitionism, as demonstrated on MySpace and countless other Web sites and blogs."

"Some parents are aghast."

Only some parents?

Only a few weeks until summer vacation officially overtakes the peace and quiet of my home office. Usually, I brace myself for the inevitable whining that starts within a day or two: "I'm booooored." But not this year. What's my plan to infuse adventure and excitement into my children's summertime existence?

Jobs you ask? Well, yes, for the older ones. And household chores for the younger two.

Day camps? I've signed my kids up for a few activities, but not enough to keep me driving hither and yon for weeks on end. Mom's taxi service needs a vacation, too.

No, my plan to offset those long and lazy afternoons spent glazed in front of Disney sitcom reruns is a throwback to my own childhood summers -- months I spent tooling around on my trusty yellow Schwinn visiting friends and riding to the Tastee Twist.

I'm going to loosen the reins and allow my kids some freedom.

I confess to feeling a bit out of the loop on the political front since I didn't participate in the Democratic primary. It's a bit like being a Hatfield and watching from the front porch as the McCoys duke it out among themselves. But assuming Sen. Obama will be the nominee...

I don't see scary movies or even read scary books anymore. Why should I when I can just pick up the paper and be terrified anytime I want? I decided recently that I'm going to violate my own policy against anxiety-for-entertainment and read Best-selling author Harlan Coban's new thriller, Hold Tight. If you have kids and a computer in your home, you should read it too...

Remember those ads with actor Robert Young where he said, "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." He knew his status as an actor didn't make him an actual expert on medical issues. Someone should tell this to actress Kate Walsh...

It rained a lot on the first few days of our spring break in Florida, so my kids spent more time than I liked borrowing my laptop to play games. But what can you do when it rains on vacation? At one point, to kill her boredom, Amy (age 10) came to me and asked if she could sign up on Club Penguin, a Disney-operated social networking site for children her age...

A while back, while surfing the net for a column idea, I ran across a web site for little film called "Indoctrinate U."

Last night I finally spoke to my college freshman on the phone...