Aaaarrrrgggg! It's Halloween, matey

My friend, author Tim Bete, was on the front end of the pirate craze for kids when he released his current book, "Guide To Pirate Parenting," a hilarious handbook on how to turn your poop deck into a home for promising young pirates. But even Tim must be unimpressed with this year's Halloween costume craze -- sexy pirate attire for little girls.

The trend toward sexy Halloween costumes for teens and adults has been around for a while, and like everything else, marketers have used the notion of "age compression" to drive styles toward younger consumers. So now, in addition to buying a "Pink Punk Pirate" outfit for your high schooler, you can dress your nine-year-old in a similar "Child Pink Pirate Costume."

Halloween is just one more thing our culture has hypersexualized without reason except to give kids an excuse to engage in our "grow-up-too-fast world." The folks who create and sell costumes seem to want to foist a lifestyle on children that corrupts even the childhood tradition of trick-or-treating.

I'm no longer willing to step foot in the seasonal superstores where costumes and decorations are sold. The stuff you find is so vulgar and inappropriate I feel like I'm shopping at one of those kinky adult novelty shops that you see along the interstate (not that I've ever actually shopped at one -- but you know what I mean). Yuck.

As for the trend toward sexy child pirates, all I can say is, "Aaarrrrrgggg."