When real life is scarier than fiction > Marybeth Hicks

“Marybeth Hicks reminds us that boundaries and structure are good for our kids, and they might actually thank us later for helping them to grow into grounded and productive adults. Bringing Up Geeks is the perfect antidote to a narcissistic, celebutante-obsessed culture.”

Sean Herriott
Co-Host, Relevant Radio Network’s “Morning Air”

blog

Current Articles | Categories | Search | Syndication

When real life is scarier than fiction

Published Tuesday, May 06, 2008 in

share this post

I don't see scary movies or even read scary books anymore. Why should I when I can just pick up the paper and be terrified anytime I want? I decided recently that I'm going to violate my own policy against anxiety-for-entertainment and read Best-selling author Harlan Coban's new thriller, Hold Tight. If you have kids and a computer in your home, you should read it, too.

Coban got the idea for this book from a conversation with a fellow parent about spyware on home computers. Initially, Coban says he blanched at the idea of spying on kids who use the internet. But then he realized that given the risks out there, spying (read: monitoring) is what resonsible parents ought to do.

Check out Coban's interview with Harry Smith from CBS's Early Show a couple of weeks ago or read his New York Times essay The Undercover Parent. He makes a ton of sense and has done the research to back up the viewpoint that when it comes to using the internet, our children deserve our best supervision (read: spying).

Comments

By Susie @ Tuesday, May 06, 2008 6:19 PM

"Spying" is alright, but only if the parents give the children notice, "hey, I am spying on you." Like in a business environment, the boss does not have the right to infiltrate the employees' emails without their knowledge. That could start a lawsuit! Now, the parent-child relationship is NOT the same as office-worker relations, but there has to be a similar two-way respect system. Kids need a bit of privacy, too, but if parents suspect something is wrong, DEFINITELY look into it. But warn children before invading their bubbles.

By Stacey @ Tuesday, May 06, 2008 7:15 PM

My children just assume I am spying on everything they do...and that is exactly what I want them to assume! :)

By Lisa Hendey @ Tuesday, May 06, 2008 7:54 PM

Thanks for the book recommendation! I will definitely check it out. I agree on the "spying" - my kids have been warned that I regularly check their online activities and I think they appreciate the oversight. I tell them, when in doubt, check with dad or I prior to visiting questionable sites.

By Kristy @ Tuesday, May 06, 2008 8:13 PM

What I learned from spying on my two older daughters, was that they had nice friends who could write well. And that sometimes those friends gave them better advice than I did. I stopped spying on them because they earned my trust. But I will continue to check on my younger daughter for a bit.

By Margaret O'Brien @ Tuesday, May 06, 2008 9:02 PM

I only feel like I have to "spy" on my two teenage daughters if I have a gut feeling something not so good is going on.

General spying breaks the trust and communication between parents and siblings. The best way to prevent this is to sit down and listen. Just let your kids talk to you. Let them talk your ears off. Sometimes they send messages through what they are saying. Loosing the trust between kids and parents can be very detrimental.

Margaret

Click here to post a comment

appearing Mondays on

appearing weekly in

read Marybeth's blog