What's wrong with pragmatism in politics and in parenting?

I like columnist Kathleen Parker, whose wit and insights often have me nodding my head as I sip my morning coffee. It's hard to do this without spilling, believe me.

Parker can be pretty sensible, but a recent column contained one short, power-packed sentence that I believe is responsible for much of what's wrong in our nation, both in the political realm and in the parenting struggles facing so many families. Here's what she said in a reference to both Pres. Obama and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal: "Most important, both are pragmatists who promise to seek solutions that work, rather than be bound by ideology."

Pragmatism seems like a great thing, right? Didn’t everyone applaud that line in the President’s inaugural address in which he said “The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified.”

The problem Parker doesn’t seem to understand is that that statement in itself was ideological because it suggests a role of government in the lives of individuals that some folks (like me) believe our Constitution doesn’t authorize.

Moreover, while it may be pragmatism that has Parker supporting the new administration’s economic solutions, they aren’t motivated by pragmatism on the part of the president but by deeply held ideological ideas. Treasury Secretary Geithner said as much when testifying in Congress that the new budget reflects Obama’s "deep moral imperative to make our society more just. But it's very good economic policy too. It will mean there is again a fairer, more equitably shared tax burden on the vast majority of Americans."

Now what does this have to do with parenting? Well, pragmatism like that which has infiltrated our politics – the willingness to put aside deeply held beliefs about what’s best in order to secure a tolerable solution – is also causing us to raise a generation of children who have no rudder, no moral compass to help them figure out what to do when faced with a dilemma or a choice or a decision.

Pragmatism in parenting is what causes us to give in to whining at the expense of our parental authority; it’s what prompts us to put a TV or a laptop in a kid’s bedroom so we don’t have to share them; it’s what forces us to feed our kids fast food on the fly during an overscheduled week instead of sticking to our values about making time to eat family meals; it’s what’s behind free contraception for kids as young as 13 and parents collecting car keys while they host a kegger for high schoolers.

There’s a time for pragmatism -- when the stakes are low and the options are morally equivalent. But as a culture we’ve elevated pragmatism to the status of virtue. In parenting, to be pragmatic instead of ideological is to be matter-of-fact about our beliefs. This is how we’re teaching our kids that beliefs, or values, if you prefer, aren’t ever as important as the easy solution to the issue at hand.

Ideology ought to be at the heart of our parenting, and I think Parker might even agree with me on that. Where she and I differ is that I happen to think ideology ought to be at the heart of pretty much everything. I think our ideas and our actions are always a reflection of our values, the things we hold most dear.